The First Time
by MsKylie93
Summary: The first time she saw his face, will never leave her.  She likes to think that even if she doesn't have him, she has those days and she has those memories.
1. Chapter 1

**This idea came to me while watching Yes/No last Tuesday, and I thought I would go ahead and give it a try it. The song lyrics will be placed throughout the various chapters, and it will probably end up being a 3-shot or something like that. :)**

**I don't own Glee or "The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face" (written by Ewan MacColl) **

It's not the first time that Quinn has snuck into the auditorium unbeknownst to anyone else. She has been here numerous times before, sometimes with Coach Sylvester, sometimes by herself. The routine is all too familiar: she knows exactly when to stop the door with her foot before it creaks, and she is aware of where to step on the noisy stair steps. These things, although petty, are important if she doesn't want to notify anyone of her presence. She finishes climbing the stairs to the top, and she quickly hides herself amongst the curtains, blocking her from Mr. Shue's view.

It's not that any of them would care that's she here; Quinn knows they would gladly have her watch. But, to be completely honest, she is a little hurt that they didn't invite her to sing with them in the first place. She may not have a boyfriend, but that doesn't mean she doesn't relate to what they are singing about.

As her four friends take their seats and the music starts to play, Quinn finds herself holding her breathe in anticipation. She knows who each of them are singing about, it's not hard to figure it out. Part of her wants to roll her eyes at their declaration of love through song, but another part of her knows that she is just jealous. Jealous of what they all have and she doesn't. Jealous that they all have someone who loves them, who will take them out to dinner and steal food from their plate, who will help them confront their biggest fears, who will kiss them in the rain. She longs to have that person in her life. Over the past few weeks, Quinn's really tried hard to be a better person and to not pretend to be someone she's not. Yet here she is, hiding behind a curtain, masking herself from the real world once again.

_The first time ever I saw your face_

_I thought the sun rose in your eyes_

_And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave_

_To the dark and the endless skies my love_

As Rachel sings about the first time she saw Finn, Quinn can't help but let her mind wander back to the first day that she saw his face, and by his, she does not mean Finn and she does not mean Sam. Those memories have been lost along the way; forgotten and replaced with new ones. Those first moments don't belong to her anymore, but rather to Rachel and Mercedes. However, the first time she saw HIS face, will never leave her. She likes to think that even if she doesn't have him, she has those days and she has those memories.

Even though it happened on the second day of sophomore year, the moment is so vivid in her mind that it seems as if it was just yesterday…

(Flashback)

Quinn walked out the doors of William McKinley High and flung herself on the orange bleachers facing the football field; she had decided to stay late after cheer practice. She hated McKinley, yet she hated being home more. She hated hearing her dad talk about her perfect sister, she hated her mother rambling about the country club, and she hated praying at the dinner table every night. She couldn't tell you why, but being home scared her, like something tragic was going to happen at any moment that would suddenly shatter the fragile walls her family had spent so much effort putting up. Sometimes, she just needed a breath of fresh air, a place to clear her head. Maybe that's how she ended up sitting on the bleachers crying, or maybe it was simply supposed to happen that way. Nevertheless, why she ended up there, she couldn't tell you. She sat silently crying to herself wishing that she wasn't so broken. Everyone thought that her life was so perfect, but it wasn't, it was far from it. Her life was planned out so that nothing could possibly derail Quinn Fabray and cause her to be anything short of perfection; heaven forbid the Fabray name was tarnished.

At the sound of approaching footsteps, Quinn lifted her head, fully expecting to see Santana or Coach Sylvester. However, in front of her stood a tanned skinned boy with a mohawk. They immediately locked eyes, hazel to hazel. She lost herself in his warm yet powerful gaze. That was the first time she ever saw Noah Puckerman's face. She will never forget the way his lips curved into a slight smile, or the way he looked at her like he already understood her, even though they hadn't even met. She will never forget the feeling she got while looking in his eyes, the feeling of being safe and protected from fear and self-doubt.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked, gingerly approaching her.

Quinn sniffled, while wiping her eyes and forcing herself to regain at least some composure, "I'm fine, just stupid stuff…"

"I didn't think anyone else was crazy enough to stay longer at school then they had to."

"yeah…then why are you here?"

"Fiesty, I like it."

Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Just kidding," he said, but in his mind he was thinking otherwise. "But seriously, it's the first week of school, and we are both sitting here like losers. We should be out partying or something."

"Maybe you should be, I should be in celibacy club! I just couldn't handle it today though."

"Celibacy, as in…?"

"As in being practicing abstinence."

"Oh."

"I'm guessing you don't support that?"

"It's not that I don't support it, I just don't… I dunno get it."

Quinn sighed, " It's not like anyone actually follows the rules anyways."

Puck nodded, "Maybe I'll check it out some time then," he joked.

Quinn snorted.

"So we both have things we could be doing, but instead were here…why?"

"I normally don't disclose that kind of information to people I don't know," Quinn replied in her HBIC voice.

"Come on, you tell me your reason, I'll tell you mine," he said, smirking slightly. Quinn's heart fluttered.

Quinn raised her eyebrows at his direct manner, but something about him made her feel secure enough to truthfully answer, "Okay," she sighed, taking a deep breath. "I feel trapped at home, I needed a break. It's like everyone always expects me to be a certain way, to do certain things, and I'm just so tired of it. I'm exhausted. For once, I just don't want to think about all of that crap. I just want to live the life I want to have, not the one I'm supposed to have."

He nodded, taking a seat next to her on the bleachers. Normally, she would have slid away, but it felt nice having him so close to her. "What's the life you want to live?" he asked.

"I don't know…I know I don't want the life that's been set out of me, but I don't know what I do want. Is that stupid? To want something so badly but to not know what I'm searching for?"

He shrugged, "I don't think it's stupid, maybe it's just the first step to figuring it all out… starting out with no boundaries, no limitations."

"Maybe," she whispered shyly, "so…why are you here?"

"Same thing… I couldn't go home. I just want to feel like I'm not a deadbeat, that I can actually do something worthwhile. When people look at me, I feel like they only see him, and I hate that because it makes me think that I actually will turn out like him."

"Him?"

"My father…"

"I don't know you, or your father, but I think that realizing you don't want to be like him proves that you never will be….it speaks for itself."

Glancing over at her, he smiled in response. She smiled back. Once again, she felt something she hadn't ever felt before. She had a strong desire to lean over and kiss him, but she refrained from doing so. Puck had never seen anyone so beautiful before, he wanted to drag her under the bleachers and kiss her senseless.

"I haven't seen you around here before," Quinn commented, drawing him out of his thoughts.

"I'm new. I transferred from the other side of town."

Quinn looked quizzically at him, " Why?"

"I was expelled," he admitted, rather nonchalantly.

Quinn tried not to laugh but she couldn't help the small giggle that escaped her lips, the first one in a long time. "I'm sorry, I just didn't expect you to say that. I don't know why I'm laughing."

Puck chuckled at her reaction, "It's okay…I must admit, you took it a lot better than most people…maybe you can talk to my mom?" he replied, grinning.

Quinn's stomach flip flopped at the sight.

"So I just admitted something, your turn."

Quinn thought for a moment, "I'm a bit of a bitch," she admitted, wincing at how horrible the words leaving her mouth sounded. "I hate that about myself, I do…but sometimes it makes me feel better. It makes my problems seem smaller when I get to have the power. I know that makes me sound like a horrible person…" Quinn said, a tear trickling down her cheek.

Puck placed an arm on her shoulder to comfort her, "You're not a horrible person, there nothing wrong with standing up for yourself every once and a while. And trust me, being a bitch is nothing compared to what I got expelled for," Puck replied, winking slightly.

Quinn's eyes widened in surprise, and she chuckled again.

"I feel like we've just swapped life stories, but I don't even know your name… I'm Puck," he said, reaching out his hand.

"Quinn," she responded, reaching out and shaking it. Something sparked as they touched, neither of them wanted to let go.

For a while, they sat together in silence and watched the sunset in front of them. The orange and purple hues in the sky casted a warm glow on their bodies, and for once, Quinn thought that maybe, just maybe, everything was going to be alright.

**Please review (I love them!), let me know if I should continue with it.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Quick note: the glee version of the song seems to omit one chunk of lyrics (or maybe I'm just imagining things!) so for the sake of the story, I'm going to use the full song. That being said, I apologize if the characters parts don't match up to the parts they sing in the episode. **

**Thanks you all for the incredible support, I hope you enjoy this chapter…OH and what about those amazing Quick scenes in the Michael Jackson episode! :D**

The memories of that day flash before Quinn's eyes. That was the day she had first seen Noah Puckerman's face, and she hadn't forgotten a single detail since. It was nearly impossible for her to walk by those bleachers without thinking of that night.

Sometimes she avoids them. They remind her too much of the people they used to be. People always assumed that her life was so perfect back then. They didn't see the pain or pressure she felt. Her mask was too thick, too opaque to see through. But perhaps she has always been just as broken as she is now. The only difference is, is that now people know what she's been through, they can see the pain in her eyes. There is no longer a curtain thick enough to conceal her shattering world.

Sometimes Quinn purposely goes to the bleachers. She's desperate to cling to something that they will always share no matter how far apart they may become. When Puck was merely a stranger to her, Quinn revealed her innermost thoughts. When they talked for the first time in over a year, she shared her emotions. She can't explain why, but she always feels more like herself around him. He can read her like a book. The walls she spends so much time meticulously putting up, immediately crumble in his presence. That comforts her, but it scares her at the same time. With him, there is no pretending.

Perhaps that's why she avoids the bleachers but why she also finds herself there too. The memory is so distant yet so close. She is so close to grabbing it and reeling it back in, but she can't quite reach, no matter how hard she tries.

Rachel's final note draws Quinn out of her thoughts, and her eyes land back on the auditorium stage. She watches as her friends sway slowly to the music, and that pang of wanting someone to want her returns yet again.

_The first time ever I kissed your mouth_

_I felt the earth move through my hands_

_Like the trembling heart of a captive bird_

_That was there at my command my love_

Quinn wills herself not to think of any more memories as Tina begins to sing. They remind her too much of what she has lost over the years but also of what she has gained. She lost her family only to have her mother return. She gained a daughter, only to have her taken from her arms hours later. She lost a boy she thought she loved, but gained one who she knew loved her. But eventually, she lost him too. Sometimes she feels as if she can never truly escape from this cycle; its like her future will continue to be trapped by her past and the only things she's truly ever cared about will keep returning, only to slip through her fingers again.

Her mind starts to drift away, focusing on a myriad of moments that her and Puck shared over the years. She pushes them away, forcing herself to think of other things. However, once the words, "kissed your mouth," are sweetly released into the auditorium air, she can't help but remember. It all comes flooding back, and as much as she wants to forget, she finds that she won't quite allow herself to do so….

(Flashback)

It was lunchtime, and Quinn was standing at her lock putting her books away, when she sensed him walking down the hallway. She didn't need to turn around to know that he was approaching; she could feel him coming just like some people can predict a thundershower. She refused to turn around, keeping her eyes focused on the picture of her, Santana and Brittany that was taped to her locker door. By now, she knew who Puck really was. He was the badass jerk who threw people like that Kurt kid into the dumpster. She saw it happen with her own eyes every morning. He slept around; she heard the rumours. Even Santana had slept with him, Brittany too. Normally, she would ignore a guy like him, but she couldn't stay away from Puck. Some unknown yet powerful force drew her to him. But honestly, who was she to judge? She was the queen bitch who spent her time knocking others down just so she could get to the top. But they weren't like that around each other. After they met on the bleachers, it became some sort of secret ritual between the two of them. They would meet every Monday after school and sit on the second row from the top, sip cherry flavoured slushies and complain about their lives. They would share secrets, memories, fears, and goals. They would laugh, sometimes cry (well Quinn would) and scream out in agony. It was therapeutic, but it was more than that – it finally felt like Quinn had met someone who understood her.

As Puck strutted down the hallway with Matt and Mike, he locked eyes with Quinn for a brief second. He reached his arm out at the last second and quickly slipped a note into her hand. She gave him a quizzical look, raising her eyebrow in surprise, but he shrugged ever so slightly and continued to walk away. When she was certain that Santana was nowhere in sight, Quinn turned her attention back to the small piece of wrinkled paper in her hand. She carefully unfolded it, savouring the rare excitement and spontaneity that her life often lacked.

"_Meet me under the bleacher, 12:30 – P"_

Quinn's heart skipped a beat, and she grinned in spite of herself. She checked her watch, it read 12:15. She figured she could be early.

She took her time walking to the bleachers. Her footsteps on the cement sidewalk seemed to be the only concrete thing in her uncertain world. She arrived at the bleachers expecting to be the first one there, but she caught sight of Puck's red letterman jacket under the bleachers. She smiled at his timely arrival; usually he kept her waiting. For reasons she didn't want to admit, her stomach was full of butterflies as she walked into the somewhat disguised area under the bleachers and approached Puck. She should have been eating lunch with Finn or Santana right about now but she didn't care. The only thing she wanted was to be here.

"Hey," he said, shooting her his signature smirk.

"Hello," she replied with a questioning tone in her voice. Why he asked her to meet him here, she had no idea. "You beat me here."

"You say that with such a tone of surprise."

Quinn shrugged, "If Santana catches you here with me, you're dead. We both are."

"Why would she care? She and I aren't serious or anything, god knows that she's in love with Brittany."

Quinn raised her eyebrows at his remark but didn't say anything in response; she had a strong suspicion that Puck might be right with that theory.

"She just gets jealous easily," she answered softly, shoving her hands in the coat pockets of her Cheerios jacket.

"Jealous….please, she knows that no lady can resist the Puckster," he said, winking flirtatiously at Quinn.

Quinn felt herself blush, "First of all, you invited me here, so that logic doesn't even work, and second of all, did you seriously just call yourself the Puckster… I thought you were the cool one."

"Come on, Pucksters a cool name don't you think?"

"No, I really don't," Quinn said dryly.

"That's it, your getting the dumpster treatment!" he yelled, as he charged towards Quinn, picking her up and flinging him over his shoulder. Quinn squealed in surprise and yelled at him to put her down. When he refused, she pathetically began to beat her fists against his back, before erupting into a fit of giggles. Puck started laughing too, as he gently placed her back down on her feet. He was so close that she could smell the familiar scent of his cologne, mixed with a slight trace of cigarette smoke. For a moment, Quinn thought he was going to kiss her. And trust him, he seriously considered it.

They slowly broke apart, letting the gap between their bodies widen.

"So why did you ask me here?" Quinn asked.

Reality set in as the words escaped her mouth, and they both suddenly realized that they shouldn't be there, at least not together. She was the perfect, straight A student, and he was the womanizer, jock. It's didn't make sense. It should have felt wrong. But it didn't. It felt so right. It felt complete.

Puck let out a deep sigh, "Finn is going to ask you to be his girlfriend," he said.

Quinn felt the smile fall off her face. She didn't know what to think or what to say. She had always liked Finn, they had gone out on a couple of dates together but nothing had ever really transpired. He was everything she ever thought she wanted: quarterback of the football team, sweet manners, charming good looks. But standing there with Puck, Quinn wasn't so sure anymore.

"What?" she breathed out, her voice barely audible.

"Told me this morning," Puck said, while giving a somewhat pathetic attempt at a smile. "He said that you are the one for him and he would be crazy not to."

Quinn felt her head spinning at the revelation and she gripped onto the nearest pole for support. The metal on her hand was cool compared to her burning body. Her hand gripped the pole harder, grateful for the support.

"Do you like him?" he asked, not able to control the tone of regret evident in his voice. Luckily, it went unnoticed by Quinn. His words drew Quinn out of her thoughts, and she looked back up into his warm hazel eyes.

"I don't know," she answered truthfully, still in shock. "Maybe."

Her reputation would skyrocket, along with her popularity. The title of Prom Queen, even though a couple years away, would be hers guaranteed. Her father would love Finn and the fact that his father was in the army. Her mother would be ecstatic, already planning on introducing him to the country club housewives. And that's when it hit her. Finn Hudson wasn't her dream boy; he was her mother's.

Puck nodded, unsure of what exactly to say in response. He wanted to tell Quinn how he felt about her, how her presence lit up the whole room, how she made him feel special. But he couldn't. And it wasn't because of his badass image; it was because of Finn. He couldn't do that to his best friend. So instead he watched Quinn struggle with her emotions, wanting so badly to be able to call her his.

"But I think I like him for the wrong reasons," she admitted after a few seconds.

"What will you say then?" he asked, knowing that the answer to this question didn't necessarily depend on the first one he had asked.

Quinn shook her head wordlessly as a few tears slipped out of her eyes and made their way down her cheeks. She didn't want to say yes, it was unfair to Finn and it was unfair to her. Truthfully, she didn't care that much about reputation or popularity, she only pretended she did in order to win her family's approval. She always felt that she wasn't good enough for them. Maybe dating Finn would change that. It was horrible, but she didn't know what else to do. She was scared and alone and desperate. She could come to love Finn… couldn't she? "I'll probably say yes," she choked out.

Puck felt his heart drop at her answer, "you don't have to Quinn, you know that right."

"You don't understand..."

"Of course I understand, I understand you better than fricken Finn ever will."

"I have to say yes…dating him will give me everything my family has ever wanted from me."

Up until this point, Puck had tried to control his emotions; but hat made him angry.

"You shouldn't agree to this just because your screwed up family might like you better. You're their fucking daughter Quinn, that's more important than some clumsy high school boyfriend."

"Finn will love me, he will treat me right."

"Don't you understand? You won't be happy! You don't need a guy to make you special Quinn."

"Of course the guy who sleeps around will say that!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Don't you get it Puck! Don't you see? Every girls here wants you, you can just wink at someone and they'll fall at your feet begging for you to love them."

"Don't give me that Q… every one here wants to be you! You're already better than every god damn guy in this school, what will it take for you to realize that?"

"When someone actually loves me for me and not the person I pretend to be."

"Then stop fucking pretending!" he shouted.

"Easy for you to say." Quinn exclaimed, "your just as bad as I am," she said, turning around to leave.

Puck reached out and gripped her wrist gently but still with enough force that she couldn't escape his hold. "Yeah maybe I am," he said, softening his tone. "But not around you Quinn…. When we're together there is none of that bullshit."

"Let me go Puck," Quinn said bitterly, trying to ignore what he just said. She didn't want to pay attention to the fact that he basically just revealed his feelings for her. It was too confusing; it clouded her brain. It was easier for her to pretend that she was stronger than all of that, that she didn't need him and that he was wrong. But truthfully, she just didn't want to admit to herself that she felt the same way.

"Fine," he said, letting go of her wrist, "just walk away then…but know that you can't run forever."

She scoffed and turned her back on him as she began to walk away.

"I wish you would just admit that you're so goddamn scared for once," he yelled after her.

Quinn was only about three metres or so away from the bleachers, when she heard Puck yell after her. She stopped and she slowly turned around, locking eyes with him. He was right of course. She was scared. Scared about lots of things.

"Fine! You're right! You want me to say it? I will! I am scared...but I just want to be loved and accepted!" she yelled, as the tears streamed down her face. "Is that too much to ask for?"

They both stared at each other for a brief moment. Puck quickly lessened the gap between them, grabbing her face in between his hands as passionately pressed his lips to hers. He fully expected her to draw back, but he felt her kiss him back, instantly knocking the breath out of him. Quinn felt her heart expand as he kissed her. She had never felt this way with anyone before. She couldn't even begin to capture how incredibly complete, free, and loved it made her feel. The world stopped moving and time stood still as the two of them kissed under the shadows of the bleachers. It was a passionate kiss, gentle yet full of emotion, as Puck wrapped his arm around her waist, drawing her even closer to him. He pushed her up against the back of the bleachers and Quinn let her hand gently grip the nape of his neck. The worries flooded out of her body, as she felt Puck's breath on her skin. She never wanted this moment to end.

They pulled apart after a few seconds and started at each other intently, their breaths ragged from the passionate kiss and fresh autumn air. Quinn's hazel eyes peeked out at him from underneath her thick coat of tear-covered lashes.

"I'll change for you," Puck whispered into her ear. "I'll try harder in school, I'll lay off on the drinks, I won't sleep with Santana...I'll be the guy you always dreamed of."

"I don't want you to change for me…." she choked out as she pressed her body closer to his. "Because then you wouldn't be you."

Puck wrapped his arms around her tightly, savouring the closeness. He had never felt this way about a girl before, and he wasn't going to give up on her – not now, not ever. This wasn't going to be goodbye.

"I'll wait for you then."


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry that I haven't updated this in a while, but here it finally is! I was going to originally only have three chapters, but I decided to make it four and give it a proper ending. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, alerted and favourited this story, it truly means so much to me! :)**

If she focuses hard enough she can still feel his lips on hers. She can feel his hands running through her long blonde hair, and the cool metal pole on the back of her burning flesh. God, she misses him. She misses telling him everything; she misses his touch. Most of all, she misses the way he could make her feel. They used to be so close. What happened? Sure there was cheating, lies, a teenage pregnancy, a baby they both loved beyond compare. But was that really what broke them? She used to think so, but not anymore. People always assumed that Beth ripped them apart. But that wasn't the case. Beth brought them together. What really tore them apart was longing. Longing for the childhood they once had, longing for the lives everyone thought they lived, longing for their beautiful baby girl, a longing for what could have been.

Sometimes she stays awake at night and thinks about them and what they used to be. It might have been easier if they didn't have to go through all that pain and heartbreak, but if they didn't would she and Puck have ever had their shot?

If they didn't cheat and lie, Quinn would still be with Finn. Rachel wouldn't be up on the stage singing this song. Puck would still be sleeping around and probably have some other girl pregnant by now. Maybe she should be grateful. Grateful that it was her; grateful for the moments it gave them together.

For a year, they ignored each other. The wounds were still fresh, and painful. She looked at him and she saw Beth. At first, it gave her some form of comfort, seeing her daughter in him. But after a while it made her heart ache for him and for Beth. She was reminded of everything she lost, everything she gave up, everything that ever truly mattered.

When the whole Shelby ordeal broke out, Quinn thought it might give her the chance she always dreamed about: the chance to fill that longing in her heart. It took a lot of pain and rejection for her to realize that it was only making it worse. It was making that hole in her heart deeper and more difficult to fill. Through all of that, Puck was there for her. He told her the truth, and he forced her to think about the things she didn't want to admit to herself. In the moment, she hated him. She hated him for telling on her; she hated him for no longer wanting her. Now, she realized he was right. Right about everything.

For a while she thought that they were becoming what they once were. But then, one day she woke up and all that was gone. It was like he hadn't held her as she cried herself to sleep, he hadn't told her that she was special, she hadn't looked for him to hug at sectionals. Now all they share are the occasional glances in glee club, and the bitter sarcastic comments. But it's better than nothing, she reminds herself. It could be like last year.

It is not until Santana begins to sing about Brittany that Quinn gets really choked up. Throughout the last few years she has watched her two best friends fall in love with each other. She sees the way they look at each other, like no one else matters. As long as they have each other, nothing can possibly be wrong in the world. Quinn is happy for them. They deserve it after all the pain they've felt. However, she can't help but feel a little jealous, jealous that they got their happy ending and she didn't. Jealous that all the shit they went through finally paid off, because now they are together, and nothing can break them.

And the first time ever I lay with you

I felt your heart so close to mine

And I knew our joy would fill the earth

And last till the end of time, my love

And it will last till the end of time, my love

Quinn closes her eyes, and lets the tears flow down her cheeks. It sounds ridiculous but sometimes crying makes her feel better; it makes her feel alive again. It takes her back to the night when she thought that maybe, just maybe, things would work out. That something good in her life would actually last until the end of time…

(Flashback)

She finished cheer practice early. Coach Sylvester was in a positive mood for once, and let them leave. Her car was in the shop, so she was supposed to have caught a ride home with Santana but she got too involved with Brittany and forgot. Finn was in some stupid singing meeting with RuPaul, and god knows her own sister didn't care enough to come pick her up. Thus, Quinn was stranded. Stranded at McKinley. She sighed as she walked through the empty halls, stopping to look at the old yearbook photos on the wall occasionally. She supposed she could walk home. The weather was decent and it wouldn't take too long. Plus, what other option did she really have? Wait for stupid glee club to get let out? She wasn't going to demote herself to that.

Deciding on walking, she braced herself for the cool autumn air as she walked outside. She hadn't seen Puck in over a week. That was a long time for the two of them. After their kiss on the bleachers, she avoided him. She avoided him because she knew that she wouldn't be able to control her emotions if she saw him again. It wasn't fair to make him wait for her, like he was second best or something. It wasn't fair to fall in love with him even more, not while she was dating Finn.

She should have said no to Finn. She should have told him that she liked Puck. Everything would be so much simpler. But no, she couldn't do that because it would ruin everything she had ever worked for. It would ruin her chances of finally being loved and accepted.

She inhaled deeply, letting the cool air rush through her veins, as she tried to calm herself down. It wasn't worth getting upset over again; everything would work out the way it was supposed to….hopefully.

"Hey Fabray….what are you doing out here?" she heard from behind her.

Her head whipped around at the sound of his voice. There he was, driving alongside her at a snails pace in his beat up old truck. Puck. Of course he would find her.

She stared at him for a couple seconds, unsure of how to proceed. "I got stranded at school. Finn's at some stupid club, Santana's making out with Brittany somewhere. So I decided to walk home."

"Need a ride?"

She looked questioningly at him, then at the truck. Did he seriously expect her to take the chance of being caught seen in that?

"I know it's no Volvo," he replied, smirking at her obvious hesitation. "But it's not that bad."

"It looks like it's going to break down at any second."

"I swear that I'll get you home safe and sound."

She looked at the long path still ahead of her: it was already dark outside and cold. She sighed, before wrenching open the old door, and taking a seat in the passenger's side, flinging her purse in the backseat.

"Good choice," he said, a hint of satisfaction evident in his voice. "So to Dudley Road it is."

"No, don't take me home."

He peeled his eyes of the road for a brief second to look at her. She refused to meet his gaze, and stared straight ahead instead. "Okay," he replied choosing not to ask any questions.

They continued driving in silence for a while; the only sound coming from the low murmur of the car heater.

"Mind if I turn the radio on?" he asked, trying to break the awkwardness that loomed over them.

"Of course not; you don't need my permission… this is your car remember."

"And to think I've been deprived of your humour for the past few days…how ever did I survive?"

"I'm sure you found a way," she replied back, grinning at the familiar bickering.

Smiling, Puck leaned over and began to scan through the stations, stopping when the oldies came on.

The sweet melody of Sweet Caroline echoed throughout the car. Without realizing it, Puck began to sing along quietly, the words escaping his lips before he even had a chance to comprehend what was happening. Quinn finally let herself turn to face him as she heard him sing. She couldn't believe that the same guy who threw kids in dumpsters was singing along to Neil Diamond.

"You sing?" she asked, astonished.

"Doesn't everyone?"

"No, I mean you actually CAN sing, like really well."

He smirked, "I bet you can too."

"Ha ha," she replied sarcastically, "No way."

As they entered the downtown area, he turned up the volume a little louder.

"Come on, right now…sing."

"NO."

"Please?"

"No."

"For me?"

She sighed, tired of his repeated questions. To shut him up, she began to sing along quietly to the chorus. As her confidence level grew, so did her voice. By the time Puck reached their first destination the two of them were singing out loud at the top of their lungs. As the song faded out, Quinn burst into laughter, shooting Puck a long and happy smile in the process. Her eyes sparkled as she looked over at him. She couldn't do this with anyone else – Finn, Santana, Brittany – it wouldn't be the same. She cherished these moments with Puck where she could just be herself. No inhibitions; no expectations; no reputations. She was just Quinn.

"See wasn't that fun?" he asked, as the song came to a stop.

"I will admit that it was…just promise me you won't go joining that glee club," she said, rolling her eyes as the name slipped off her tongue.

"Never…unless you did of course. I would have to keep an eye on you," he winked.

"Not in a million years…you have nothing to worry about."

"Now, what would you like?" Puck asked, as he motioned to the Lima Diner, the local restaurant establishment they now sat parked in front of

"Here? Seriously?" she asked, looking over at him with an unimpressed look her on face.

He gave her a look back, almost as if to say, "Your HBIC is showing."

"Sorry," she answered quickly. It was amazing how the two of them just knew what the other was thinking without having to utter a single word.

"So Ms. Fabray, what do you want?"

"Hmmm…I was thinking a large order of fries and a mint chocolate milk shake," she answered, shooting him a flirtatious grin.

"Coming right up." What Quinn wanted, Quinn would get. He hadn't seen her in nearly a week, which drove him absolutely crazy. Now that she was finally back in his presence, he didn't want to do anything to mess it up.

After he returned with the food, Puck began driving again, keeping quiet about where they were going. He knew where he wanted to take her. He just hoped she would approve. He said a quick prayer to the gods.

As they drove through the familiar neighborhood with the white picket fences and precisely trimmed bushes, Quinn felt an uneasy feeling begin to form in her stomach.

"Why did you bring me here? I told you I didn't want to go home, how will this actually make me feel better?"

He ignored her question and continued to drive until he reached the somewhat wooded area at the end of the block. He parked the car, and walked around to her side, opening the door for her and giving her his hand to grip on to as she stepped down. She chose to stay holding onto it. He decided to shut his mouth for once, and not comment on it. The weight of her small, dainty hand in his felt nice; it felt complete.

He gently led her through the trees and gravel-covered pathways until they reached the old, somewhat forgotten park. Quinn looked up at him, a questioning look on her face, but he just nodded towards the park, pulling her softly towards the swing. A smile tugged at her lips. As she sat down on the old blue plastic seat, the bars creaked slightly, a wave of nostalgia washing over her. She used to come here when she was maybe five years old, until her father made her go to the newer, nicer park across from her house. She had always loved coming here because she felt like she could escape: escape Lima, escape her family, escape her worries and fears. Here, she felt free.

She felt Puck's calloused hands on her back as he softly pushed the swing forwards. She closed her eyes as she felt the breeze pull through her hair, and for a moment, it felt like she was five again.

"I used to come here when I was young," Quinn admitted.

"I figured."

"How did you know about this place?"

Puck smiled, "My dad used to bring me and my sister here when we were young. He told us it was a secret place, and that it only belonged to us. I eventually forgot about it, like most kids do, but after I came over to your house a few weeks ago, I suddenly remembered it. Its weird isn't it?

"What is?"

"That we used to be in such close proximity together but never really knew it.

Quinn looked back at him and smiled. God, he loved it when she smiled.

"It sounds cliché, but maybe we were drawn towards each other from the very beginning."

He laughs at her choice of words, but he can't help but feel like she is right. "Maybe, it was just in the stars," he said softly, prompting both of them to look up at the darkening sky.

Puck continued speaking as he pushed her, "Sometimes I still come here when I need to escape. Because when I'm here, it feels like I'm not in Lima anymore. I don't have to worry about my Ma, or Sarah, or my deadbeat dad."

A peaceful silence enveloped them. For a second, all that could be heard was the repetitive squeak of the chain as the swing traveled back and forth. His words lingered heavily in the air between them.

"What happened to him?" she finally asked.

He doesn't need to ask her whom she is referring too.

"He just got up and left; nearly a year ago. I came home from school, to find a note. A fucking note, not even a letter. He said he needed to go find himself. Whatever the hell that means. He probably just realized that there was a better life out there for him. We weren't good enough anymore."

Quinn abruptly put her feet on the gravel ground, and let herself skid to a stop. She turned around to face him.

"No Puck. Don't ever say that, because you are good enough. Okay? Listen to me: he was an idiot to leave. He will never find something as amazing and worthy as your family. So don't ever say that."

Quinn cupped his face with her hands. Her heart ached for him. She knew what it felt like to not be good enough. If Quinn was being honest, part of her blamed herself for making Puck feel this way. Here she was, making Puck wait for her because he didn't live up to the "Finn" standard of boyfriend everyone expected for her. It wasn't fair.

Puck stared at her as he let her words sink in. In that moment he realized that she cared about him more than anyone else ever had before.

Quinn leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. She lingered a little longer, almost as if she was contemplating giving him a real kiss on the lips.

"Promise you won't think that, okay?" she asked softly.

"Okay."

They locked eyes, and he reached down to interlace his fingers with her. Gently, he led her over to the grassed area, and pulled her down with him so they were lying side by side. She drew herself closer to him, letting her body fit with his. They laid in silence, and looked up at the sky above them. Everything felt so infinite, so perfect, so complete. It is that moment that stands out in her memory, much like the stars that shine brightly in the night sky.

"We're screwed up, aren't we?" Quinn finally asked.

"A little," he jokingly replied.

"We shouldn't be here lying with each other. It shouldn't make sense, it shouldn't feel right. But somehow it does."

"It does."

"Sometimes I feel like I'm going to be stuck here forever. But looking up at the stars now, anything seems possible. The whole world seems possible."

"You won't be stuck here Q."

"How can you be so sure?"

Puck sighed, "Because you are Quinn Fabray. I believe in you more than I believe in myself."

"That's ridiculous."

"It's the truth."

She breathed heavily, and savoured the feeling of lying there beside him. She wished she could bottle up the feeling it gave her and save it for later. Save it for a time when Puck may no longer be by her side. She shouldn't be here; she was with Finn. But at the same time, she couldn't draw herself away, so instead she pulled herself closer to him.

"You know last week, when you said that I was scared? You were right. I'm scared of moving on. I know I'm only a sophomore but time moves so fast. I'm scared that one day I'll wake up and suddenly everything will be different. Everything that's ever mattered will be gone."

He squeezed her hand. "Not everything will change. The important things will still be right where you left them."

"I'm scared about forgetting you," she choked out.

"You won't ever forget about me Quinn. I won't let you."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

She looked over at him, and he smiled.

"See that star up there?" Puck asked, pointing to one that shone brightly in the night sky.

Quinn nodded, leaning her head on his chest.

"Well, that's Sirius. It's the brightest star in the sky. So whenever you feel lost or scared, all you need to do is look up and find it, and know that everything is going to be okay. Even in the darkest of times, there is always a little bit of light that shines through. And when we look at it, we'll think of each other. No matter where we are in the world. No matter who we become. No matter what happens, it'll always be ours…and nothing can change that."


	4. Chapter 4

**Wow this is such a late update, sorry! But finally, here is the end! Thanks to everyone who read/reviewed/alerted~ so grateful!**

Quinn felt the tears pour down her cheeks as she watched her friends sing from the rafters. The more she tried to push the tears away, the more they started to fall. Her body started to shake uncontrollably from her sobs as the memories came flooding back – the good, the bad, the sad. She had never felt like this before. It was a different kind of emotion than she was used to. It wasn't anger or disappointment or even frustration, it was more like something was finally catching up with her; and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

Over they past few weeks, she had worked so hard to come to terms with her past. She looked at her mistakes and failures as things that made her stronger. She came to accept the fact that her father hated her, that her mother drank too much, that her sister didn't care. She came to realize that she had given Beth away on her own accord and she wasn't ever going to get her back. But what she didn't admit to herself was what Puck and her once shared. Quinn spent so much time convincing herself that they meant nothing, that they were simply two teenagers who had sex and ended up pregnant. But listening to the song made her realize that wasn't the truth. Those memories she had with Puck were real. They did mean something.

Recalling all their moments together made her cry because she was finally admitting to herself that her and Puck were over. They had their chance together. Maybe that's all it was supposed to be – a chance – and nothing more. That didn't stop it from hurting any less.

Quinn knew they could never go back to the way they were. It was over.

She felt empty, incomplete, broken. The walls started to close in around her as the song continued to be sung in the background. She couldn't stand the feeling of being trapped in a room where everyone had someone to love and someone to love them back. It reminded her of all the heartbreak and all the pain. She needed to get out of the auditorium. She needed to stop hearing the song that reminded her of everything she once had and everything she lost.

She turned on her heel and ran down the stairs as fast as her feet could take her. The wooden steps creaked under her weight as she stepped on them. She didn't care if Mr. Shoe heard her feet shuffling or if Santana happened to glance up and see her. It didn't matter anymore. None of that petty crap mattered.

She just needed to get out. Now.

The briskness of the cold air hits her the second she walked it outside. Her body shivered from the cool breeze carried by the wind but she didn't notice. Suddenly, she is running, running than she has never run before. For a mere second, she feels untouchable, like nothing can catch her, that she is finally escaping everything that every pulled her back. The wind pushes her ahead as her short blonde locks fly around her face, blocking her vision. Nevertheless, she runs harder and faster, and the second a thought pops up in her mind she pushes it away, using it as fuel for speed. She doesn't think about where she is going, she simply runs. The freedom of it all is empowering. A small feeling of pride builds up within her at the thought that maybe she's finally won: she has finally outrun her problems and the pain. However, the second she stops running she realizes how very wrong she was. Instead of running away from everything, she ended up right back where she started.

xxxxxx

Puck sighed heavily as he sat in the back row of the auditorium listening to the girls sing. He had managed to sneak in after Mr. Shue to hear the performance. He couldn't exactly explain why he felt the need to go watch but it was almost like some magnet pulled him towards the auditorium. At first he didn't recognize the song as the few keys began to play. However, the second Rachel's voice filled the air, it hit him. And it hit him strong. Before he could even attempt to control his thoughts, he was thinking about Quinn. He was picturing the first time he saw her crying on the bleachers near the football field. He could practically feel the cold metal of the bleachers on his skin as he remembered their first kiss. He could envision the dark sky, under which he and Quinn lay embraced in each other's arm. But most of all, he remembered how happy, complete and alive he felt when he was with her.

He doesn't realize that he is actually crying until a teardrop falls on his denim jeans. Normally, he would be quick to wipe the tears away, but not this time. This time he lets them fall freely because as much as it pains him to remember all the tender moments he shared with Quinn, it pains him even more to pretend like they never had anything at all.

Sitting in the red velvet auditorium chair listening to Santana, he realizes something. He always thought that his life changed the second Beth came into the world. He always assumed that her birth was the pivotal event that changed his life forever. But now he realizes that wasn't necessarily the case. Sure, Beth made him a different person, a better man. But seeing Quinn's face for the first time was the real game changer.

Quinn changed everything. She changed him.

He's tried to convince himself that what they had was over; it was history. And maybe it is. But part of what they shared would never change. They would always be tied together somehow, and no matter how hard he tried, he would never be able to forget Quinn. He would never be able to stop loving her.

_The first time ever I saw your face, your face, your face, your face_

As the song comes to an end, he looks up at the stage and locks eyes with Santana. She makes no movement to indicate her surprise at seeing him there. He figures she probably saw him from the very beginning. Instead of making a bitchy comment about his presence, she remains silence and serious. For a few seconds, they stare each other, wordlessly sharing thoughts. Slowly, Santana nods her head towards the direction of the door, encouraging him to go: to go fight for the one girl he believes in more than himself. One slight action from Santana is enough, because he is up on his feet and running to the door before he even realizes it. He pauses for a short moment to look back at her.

"Go," she mouths.

And he does.

He shoves the door open and bolts down the empty school hallway, his shoes squeak against the linoleum floor. He doesn't notice his surroundings or even think about where he was going. Puck simply lets his feet take him to where he needs to go. Somehow, after all this time, they still know their way back to her.

xxxxx

He finds her sitting on the orange bleachers moments later, head in her hands, blonde hair fluttering in the wind. He watches her from a distance for a few moments and cannot help but notice how broken and vulnerable she looks. It's a look that is very rarely worn by Quinn Fabray.

As Puck approaches her, he realizes that she is crying and he is overcome with this enormous need to comfort her and pull her close. It takes everything in his power to stop himself from reaching out to tuck the wispy pieces of her blonde hair away from her tear stained face. Her sobs prevent her from hearing his approaching footsteps. It is not until he takes a seat a foot or two away from her that she finally looks up from her position. Under a veil of tear-coated eyelashes, her hazel eyes meet his. She doesn't say anything, but she doesn't really need to. It feels like they understand each other better in that one moment than they have in over 12 months. Puck reaches over and places his hand on hers and is surprised when she doesn't pull back.

Quinn slowly draws her eyes away from his, focusing her gaze on the football field right in front of her. It all seems so surreal: sitting on the bleachers next to Puck. It is reminiscent of the first time they met. The reality of it provides some comfort but it scares her more than anything else.

"What happened to us?" she finally chokes out.

"I don't know," he whispers back. His voice is heavy with emotion and Quinn can instantly tell that something is on his mind too.

Quinn sighs deeply to calm herself, but it comes out shaky and she can feel the emotion building up inside of her at an overwhelming speed. "I miss you," she finally admits.

Her confession surprises him, and he finds himself slightly taken aback by her words. "I miss you too. I always miss you."

"Do you ever think about us?" she asks, "What we had?"

"All the time."

No words are spoken for a few minutes, as they both let the words settle in.

"I'm sorry," Quinn blurts out. "I'm sorry that I made you feel second best to Finn, I'm sorry that I lied about who the father was for months, I'm sorry I pushed you away after Beth was born…I'm sorry that I didn't give you a chance…that I didn't give us a chance….I'm sorry that I screwed everything up."

"Hey," Puck replies gently, scooting himself closer to Quinn and resting his arm on her shoulder gently to comfort her.

Quinn is full out sobbing again now, her body shaking.

"I'm so….sorry," she screams out between the sobs.

"Hey Q…it's okay," Puck says softly.

"NO IT'S NOT. IT'S NOT OKAY," she yells, "It's never going to be okay! I just watched my best friends give a beautiful performance about seeing someone for the very first time and knowing that they are the one for you; and knowing that you love them more than anything else in the world. I watched as Rachel sang about Finn and Santana about Brittany, and I could see how happy they were. How complete they felt. And then I realized that I had that once too. With you. I suddenly could envision every fucking moment we ever spent together. The first time we meet, right here on these bleachers. The time you kissed me in the rain mere seconds after we were screaming shit at each other. That time we star gazed and everything felt like it was going to be okay. The day you bought me that tiny Christmas tree, or when you shaved my legs because my stupid stomach wouldn't let me bend down, or when you told me you loved me in the hospital. But then we lost all of that. And it hurts so much to think about…"

The words flood out of her mouth so quickly that she doesn't even know what she is saying. But they second they are released into the air, she feels an enormous weight being lifted off her shoulders. She feels like she has finally chucked aside a giant boulder that has been dragging her down for months. But she also feels so exposed and more herself than she ever has felt before.

"Q..." Puck says gently as to not upset her even more. He had no idea that Quinn heard the glee song too, or that she remembered all the memories and moments they shared together like he did. At a loss for words, he simply pulls her towards him, wrapping his arms around her fragile body. She doesn't pull back. The warmth of him around her makes her feel safe from everything sad and painful.

"Quinn, you don't need to apologize for anything, okay?" he says, slowly titling her chin up to look at him. "We both fucked up. I shouldn't have given up on you so easily. I shouldn't have told you that I didn't care about you anymore, or that I would rather raw dog a beehive. Because that's not true, and its never been true. I care about you so fucking much that I just wanted to knock some sense into you; I wanted to help you. I know why you pushed me away; maybe we just needed some space. But I shouldn't have given up so easily. I should have fought for you."

She sighed, a slight smile forming on her lips hearing that he still cares about her. Slowly, she says, "I've spent so much fucking time coming to terms with my past, and finally learning to accept my mistakes. But hearing that song afterschool today, made me realize something. It made me realize that there was still one thing I wasn't letting myself confront. You. And what he once had. And what we let go off. Today, I had to finally admit to myself that all of that is over. "

"I don't think we'll ever really be over. How can we be? Forty years from now I won't remember who sang what at regionals or what year we came in last because Finchel decided to swap spit on stage. I probably won't remember everyone's name or stay in touch with them. But you and me, Q? We will never be over. We share something that no one else in this school does. And I'm not just talking about Beth. I'm talking about our fucked up fathers, the screwed up lies we told, our ability to make everybody else feel inferior just because we feel like crap inside and how we both can pretend everything is okay when it's not. But we also know what it feels like to love someone more than anything else in the world and the heartache you feel when you have to give her up. I won't ever forget about you Quinn."

The tears fall down her cheeks again as she listens to him speak. "Do you promise?"

"Of course I do. You know that song Rachel and Santana were singing? The one you mentioned…."The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face?" "

"Yeah…" Quinn replies, the confusion evident in her voice.

"Well, I have to admit that I also snuck into the auditorium after school today to watch."

She sits up quickly at his confession, her eyebrows furrowed out of confusion as a small grin slowly starts to appear on her face. "Seriously?

He sighs, "Seriously. And that goddamn song made me think of everything we had too Q. It hurt to think about how we went from being everything to being nothing. But at the same time, it made me realize how grateful I am for those memories. And how grateful I am to have to in my life."

"I want you to know that I don't regret any of those moments we had Puck… I don't regret sleeping with you or think of Beth as a mistake. But I regret giving up on us."

"Me too."

"It's funny to think that we first met here, and how here we are once again. It's almost like one big giant circle."

"Maybe it's a sign."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe we're right back were we started for a reason. Maybe it's a chance to start over, without ever really forgetting. Because I never want to forget about those moments Q, no matter how sad or painful remembering them may be. They changed me for the better…you changed me."

Her eyes began to fill will tears. Something suddenly ignites within her that tells her Puck is the one. He has always been the one. She knew it the first time she saw him three years ago.

He was the one for her.

This thought is confirmed as he leans in and presses a kiss to her lips. The rush of emotion – love, relief, and happiness – that she feels at this moment is unlike anything she has ever felt before. For once, she feels complete again: like Puck is the glue she needs to put her back together – piece-by-piece. She smiles into the kiss as she pushes her lips against his more passionately. Puck runs a hand through her blonde hair as he draws her closer, their lips never breaking contact.

They mold together perfectly. Suddenly, it feels like three years ago, but this time it's even more perfect. This time, there is no one preventing them from being together. This time, they don't care about reputation. This time, it's all about them and who they've become. But mainly, it's all about love.

Pulling back, both of them can't help but break out into huge smiles. Puck leans in to rest his forehead against hers. This moment is too perfect, and he can't help but remember the first time they met – sitting in this very spot.

He tenderly pulls back a section of her hair and softy says… "The first time I saw your face, I knew that I loved you; and that I would never be able to stop. I still haven't."

**Cheesy? Just a little ;) but I couldn't help myself. Once again, thank you to everyone who has read this story and alerted it, it really does mean a lot to me. Special thanks to **BMontague, DelenaxFantasy, olacindy, andsoitis2, asia, A New Side Of Awesome, fartsinurface6, and Gleestories11223 for reviewing. I hope you liked the end :)


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